Cleopatra Jones
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Well, I’m going to quote Judge Lynn Toler of ‘Divorce Court’ because I think that she says it better than anyone:
“20 is for you. 20 is for growth. 20 is for the pursuit of a tomorrow that is better than today. 20 is for options. 20 is for passion and knowledge and enjoyment. It is not for continuous compromise. It is not a time to say this is the guy that I gotta make it with, because this is the guy that I have. And no matter what compromises, no matter what I don’t like, no matter what he does, I have to put up with it, because he’s my man.
20 is for firing dudes when they don’t act right. 20 is for figuring out what you like in certain men. 20 is for finding what kind of men are out there and which ones you want to keep and which ones you want to discard. It’s not for sticking it out when you’re not enjoying it anymore.
20 is opportunity to move onward, upward, forward. Get a large life so that even if a dude doesn’t end up in it, you still enjoy it. 20 is for creating all of that potential, not just compromising your way into the corner of a closet somewhere, wondering what the heck happened?’
Girl, move on. If the only thing he has going on is getting random chicks pregnant, he has nothing to offer you. Don’t mess up your life trying to make this work!
Lord, this is way too much drama for some grown ass folks! Y’all damned near on the doorstep of senior citizenship, and this is how both of you are acting?!?!?
First and foremost, if you are so insecure in a relationship with a man (any man) that his teen-aged daughter is a threat, you need to get your ass to a therapist, post haste. Kids come first, always! That’s non-negotiable.
At 40+, a man with kids is fairly common. If you strike every man with kids from your list, your dating pool is going to be a puddle. Also, it makes absolutely NO SENSE to not date a man with kids when you have your own kids. That’s mind boggling-ly selfish and shallow.
And if you need to be in a relationship where no one comes before you, get yourself a damned dog. They will love you unconditionally, and you will never have to fight for their attention. Humans are NOT like that, especially a man with kids.
You are not ready to be in a relationship with anyone. You don’t even have a good relationship with yourself. You need to break up with him and GET YOUR LIFE RIGHT, first!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe he had some mother that was a Norman Bates type that wanted him to keep away from all the dirty girls. Or maybe was raised in some very restrictive religious cult that made sex dirty.
Even if he did, it’s still his problem to fix. He doesn’t get to foist that off on some unsuspecting woman. No woman is obligated to help a man get over whatever shit happened to him in his past! She can be supportive while he’s getting it fixed but she’s not obligated to fix it for him.
I know guys who have shittily dated someone for years that they don’t see a future with.
If after a little while, the relationship isn’t going in the direction that’s right & comfortable to you, speak up or leave. Don’t sit around waiting for him to tell you what the future is going to look like for y’all.
Ugh, I hate when women do that. I’ve seen waaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy too many women, date dude for 10 years without any kind of substantial commitment. Then wonder why he marries the next chick that he meets after they break up.
But I think that always chalking it up to ‘clueless’ is what leads him to believe that he’s a misunderstood nice guy. Nope he’s not.
I don’t know him IRL so I can’t straight out call him a creeper BUT he does have creep-like behavior.
Yeah, I stopped giving him the benefit of the doubt a loooonnnng time ago. Specifically, when he argued that the LW whose creepy ass boyfriend was taking photos of young women at the beach w/o their consent should give that guy another shot. That’s a big ass bag of NOPE.
I think he skews towards creepy because he always wants the LWs to give the creepers a second chance. I kinda feel that in his mind those behaviors aren’t creepy but ‘misunderstood nice guy’. The fact that he continually leans towards the creeper’s view leads me to believe that we have a creeper among us who is trying to justify his actions.
Lord, Bacc you need some help. Literal help. From a trained therapist, help. Your views on relationships seem to skew towards creepy, and a bit abusive. Women aren’t possessions who should let a man do whatever he wants to them in a relationship. Dude, GTFOH with that nonsense!
Shout out to Ron and Sky Blossom for having the fortitude to read through his crap and not throw y’all’s computer through the window. I read the first couple of sentences then I started getting the dry heaves so I stopped. I can’t with him.
Anyway, LW it’s OK to cry. It’s the end of a relationship and that’s always sad but this is NOT the guy for you. Please don’t think it is! Find someone else who wants the same relationship that you want. Not someone who’s so busy mooching off of you that your needs aren’t being met in the relationship. Seriously, you did the right thing ending the relationship.
This dude went from hopelessly naive to legit scary real quick.
Eagerly awaiting Kate’s reply.
Also, I’m sorry I got huffy when you called me out for writing like a friendo.
What’s a friendo? I googled it, and it states that it’s some kind of social media app. I’m missing the context,so I’d love to know what you mean.
‘Cause I totally want to yell ‘You effing friendo’ to people.
Lol. We’re going to find out that Mimosa is really a 12 year old girl from Maine OR a 40 year old dude from FL. ‘Her’ posts could go either way.
The return of Mimosa. I feel like that needs a theme song.
