Boyfriend and stripclubs
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Ok, but I’d still way rather have a guy be honest than tell me what he “thinks” I want to hear. Let me decide what I want to do with that information. I’ve had boyfriends who were, like, probably *too* honest, but I much preferred that to the lying sketchy ones.
How do you need to know if someone had a lap dance to marry them?? This sounds like the people who want to know every partner before them.
Subtract 5, divide by 6, add two and just say 3!
No, it sounds like someone wondering if her SO feels it’s OK to get full-contact lap dances from strippers so long as he lies about it to her.
His lies about the past make her wonder about the present/future.
All right, wait, I know how to put a stop to all of this. LW, watch the first episode of Rock of Love. It’s called “Don’t Threaten Me With a Good Time,” and I think it may make you think differently about strippers.
“My boyfriend (who I want to marry)”
Sooo… the lie, the strip clubs, the lap dances are HORRIBLE, but she still wants to marry the guy. That makes it all seem not so horrible in her view.
LW never says how she knows that guy had 10+ lap dances and touched the stripper. Is she listening to some malicious gossip?
This does have the sense of demanding to know your SO’s full sexual history with unremitting honesty.
There are standard (illegal) interview questions delving into women’s planned intimate lives. I thought the general consensus was that it’s perfectly acceptable to lie in answering such questions. An honest answer ‘yes, I plan to have kids soon, in fact I’m two months pregnant’ or refusal to answer likely loses you the job for totally illegal reasons.
Depending upon how strongly one feels one’s private sexual history is private, even from future spouse, is one morally allowed to lie in response to such questions?
To Ron: yes, I see myself marrying this man. We have been dating for a while and are moving in together this summer. This is the first time he has lied to me. Am I going to leave him over this? No, I love him. This does not mean I am ok with the lie.
He is the one who confessed to the lapdances- we were hanging out with his friends who brought up a story about the “champagne room”, so obviously I asked him about it again later. I do not equate this to asking someone about their full sexual history- he is not going to have sex with another individual who is not me, so it is irrelevant. I have asked about the lapdances because he is going to a strip club in the near future, and will be going to more so I want to know what to expect.
Then why pose the question (or get upset) if you are going to ignore his somewhat sketchy behavior?
The issue really isn’t the strip club (you can pretend it is though), the issue is that he lied about going to strip clubs and how he felt about strippers.
I still contend that if he would have just been straight up about strip clubs, this wouldn’t bug you so much.
And FTR, my understanding is that the ‘champagne room’ is where covert paid sex with strippers happen, so if he was in the champagne room there might have been sex (even just a BJ). So there’s that…
OR maybe there’s just some sketchy ass strip clubs in my area.
