Boyfriend and stripclubs
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- This topic has 135 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 6 months ago by Kate.
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May 2, 2017 at 3:32 pm #684543
It’s fine to lie, and everyone does lie, but I think most of us still assume our partners are being pretty truthful about most things.
Northern StarMay 2, 2017 at 3:40 pm #684548Well, YOU think it’s an unfair question. I don’t. “Hey, you said you hate strippers and think they’re nasty, but your boys are saying you are a frequent flyer in the champagne room?” WHY is that unreasonable?
Because you think the truth might be uncomfortable? That means you don’t trust your partner enough to be honest OR you’re taking action that you know isn’t right. Some truths are cruel, so you don’t say them— obviously. That’s not the case here. It’s a potentially ongoing behavior (if he’s lying, who knows?) that some people consider cheating. Not a daydream about someone you find more attractive.
I do think everybody lies, especially to get out of trouble. That is a big issue that I had in my last relationship. He lied all the time to “avoid” issues but he never thought that we could have a conversation about something and not necessarily a fight.
I think that you want to be with a partner that does not need to lie, and does not want to lie to you. A partner who trusts you enough to tell you things he/she did in the past, when you weren’t around, knowing that it wouldn’t become a big argument.
In this case, LW’s boyfriend lied to avoid problems maybe because LW hates stripclubs and he knew saying yes to that would be a problem. When you’re asked about something you can always answer “I don’t like to discuss that, I don’t want to talk about that, I don’t like that part of my life” you don’t HAVE to lie if you don’t want to tell the truth. It’s simple as that. What else has he lied to you about? You’ll never know for sure, and you can’t say that this is the first lie, or the only time he has lied, because you don’t know that.BittergaymarkMay 2, 2017 at 3:49 pm #684551Again. You are projecting. Hyperboiling. Ten lapdances in, what? 10 years does not a frequent flyer make.
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Men tend to go to stripclubs. Women tend to fucking shop. We all fiolishly blow money on distractions. But one DOESN’T fill the house with pointless useless consumerism crap. Hell, at least red blooded men support the american workers!
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I kid, I kid. But the absurdity of this rant was fun. And not entirely unrelated. I bet damn EVERY WOMAN (gay man, too) I’ve ever met has lied about their shopping habit at some point. 😉Northern StarMay 2, 2017 at 3:54 pm #684557Well, BGM, what if it WAS lying about shopping? What if the LW feels strongly that going into credit card debt is a bad idea, and her boyfriend was claiming to be a super saver while blowing money on useless junk and lying about it until someone else slipped up and “told” on him?
Your financial history is your business until you get married, too, right? Except… lying about it isn’t OK, either.
BittergaymarkMay 2, 2017 at 3:59 pm #684558And when men do learn the truth, they tend to STAY MAD ABOUT THE PURSE. They don’t get all holier than thou bullshit and haughtily proclaim… “It’s NOT the purse… but the LYING! How do I know now you aren’t banging the purse clerk!? What else are you lying about? And what’s this handbags.com I found in your phone’s browser history?”
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