Boyfriend and stripclubs
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Is it totally unreasonable to want a partner who mostly tells you the truth about things that are important to you and your relationship?
I don’t think so.
If you find yourself lying all the fucking time to spare someone’s feelings, you aren’t a good match and it’s not going to last. IMO.
You have ALMOST as great a chance as I do marrying the 1996 Jude Law in his Talented Mr Ripley days of sublime perfection.
If STRIP CLUBS are THAT important to you — fine. Go date a uber repressed christian. Although –fair warning! That often doesn’t end well once said good christian is busted at a truckstop with some other good christian’s staff in his mouth…
All right, so let’s say my boyfriend has a significant amount of credit card debt. I hope if the subject comes up, he’d say, you know, there are some things with my financial situation I’m not comfortable talking about, at least yet… I’ve made some mistakes in the past… instead of being like, oh, credit card debt, ugh, gross, I would never.
With the strip clubs, I would like him to be like, yeah, I have. If I ever asked his “number,” which I wouldn’t, he could say he doesn’t wanna talk about it.
“Picture it. Sicily…”
BGM, this may be my favorite of all your comments. I feel like we need to share some cheesecake.
I don’t think that financial difficulties or cc debt are quite a fair comparison since these are things that have real present day implications. This would be like him having had debt five years ago which he subsequently eliminated and fully replenished his his investments. Bad past habits which he has has given up at least for the time being.
“Is it totally unreasonable to want a partner who mostly tells you the truth about things that are important to you and your relationship?”
Is whether he got lap dances before he met her “important to the relationship?”
Fyodor, add in the part about lying about credit card debt—in fact, claiming to have always had perfect credit. THAT’S a better comparison.
Giving the impression that you have never and would never do [whatever it is] is a lie if you have—and raises questions about whether you WOULD.
To her it’s important because it’s about his character:
I’m confused about the guy I thought he was because I just find this so sleezy and generally degrading to women, and c) if clearly stripclubs don’t make him uncomfortable and he has no problem with strippers, how am I supposed to trust him when he goes?
If you say “I have NEVER cheated on a girlfriend! It’s wrong and cruel! Cheaters are terrible people!” and then your buddies tell your girl that, in fact, you cheated on Samantha with Louisa and Greta with Jane…
Does that matter? It’s your sexual history. Your business. No need to share. Right?
