Family problems. Need advice ASAP

Shelby, it’s really hard when the people we want to support us let us down. Please consider therapy, coping skill building, and medications to get you through this time until you’re feeling better. Those are things that help with some of these long-standing issues as well as short-term emotional outbursts and getting stuck in thoughts. You want a different kind of relationship and acknowledgement than it seems your parents will give. That’s a fundamental difference and one that you can work to manage your expectations around. That doesn’t change that it hurts and you had hopes but makes it so that hurt doesn’t affect functioning. There may be resources available; contact your county or local United Way to gauge what those may be.

Northerstar- yes you’re right. Everyone has gone through that. Thank you trying to explain your posts in a mature manner instead of being ridiculously smug like Kate. But I think everyone involved in this situation can agree- this is not about it not being enough for Shelby. She said she appreciated and was grateful for the help she’d gotten. Anyone rational can see she is obviously going through some traumatic, mind-altering stress and anxiety caused by years of familial issues as she also described in her various posts. I think we could all just give her a little humility due to the fact she is already emotionally distressed and looking for help In this forum. Also telling her her own accomplishments are not big enough to warrant an acknowledgement can be insulting and maybe another reason she got upset with your responses. It sounds like this is big for her in her current life situation and saying it’s not is basically echoing what her father is doing and is the original reason for this post… just some food for thought.

“My point was that I just wish my dad would have acknowledged the situation even a BIT. Seeing how he treated my sisters very differently and we’re generous and excited for them when they moved in their first places (apartments as well) and how he ignored me completely was hurtful”

“I want my dad to have an ounce of humility and say “hey good going daughter!” For once in my life.”

I’m very sorry that you did not get the parents that you wish you had – I know how that feels. I live 800 miles from my parents and my dad hasn’t visited me in more than a decade. It sucks to realize that your parents just aren’t into you and maybe that’s why you are hurting right now; their lack of enthusiasm is another reminder of that.

It seems like the dynamic with your parents is unhealthy and what you need to do is accept the fact that they will not give you what you want from them (emotionally, I mean). Mourn the parents you wish you had and move on. They will never be who you want them to be.