Husband is on Grindr
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Then stay with a lying cokehead closet case. I don’t know what else you want to hear. The reality is you’re married to a man who doesn’t care about you or your son. Whatever happens going forward is on you. Good luck.
Call a lawyer. Empty your shared financial resources. Kick him out.
Kids are resilient. He’ll be fine. He’ll probably blame you more if you stay with a cheating drug addict instead of getting your son into a better situation.
I’m so confused. If the house is under your name, why aren’t you kicking him out? You’ve made him sound like a deadbeat on here — using drugs, bad with money, etc. — so how do you pay for the house now? (I was assuming it was falling on you if he’s so bad with finances.) And, I mean, you’ve known about his extracurriculars for several months now — so why haven’t you been saving during this time? Legally, won’t you be entitled to support?
I don’t think this is an *easy* situation in any way, but every response you write makes you seem intent on staying. And I guess if that’s what you want, fine, but why bother explaining it away to us?
House is under my name but I’ve been paying for it with his money. We have a joint account and his salary goes directly to that account. If I Kick him out then I won’t be able to pay for this expensive place because he can stop his direct deposit at any time. I pay for rent with his salary and for all the bills with mine. He hasn’t been using drugs since April and he comes home early now, but it doesn’t matter because I’ve made up my mind. I’m just waiting for the opportunity to move out, looking for places for schools etc. Of course I don’t want to be with him anymore. I posted my story here because I wanted to hear opinions about Grindr. I wanted to see how many people agree with me so it helped me.
Grindr is an app for men to hook up with other men.
You don’t know he hasn’t done drugs since April.
The link I posted is a service for women to work on getting a divorce when they don’t have many resources.
Look Lana, responders say the obvious., but we are on the outside. It looks so simple and easy to us. We aren’t living it. My point being is that I know it is hard and stressful; however, you can do this! Think logically, not emotionally, which I know is hard as hell for women. I sympathize with what you have to go through. You will come out much stronger and happier.
Yes, he can stop the direct deposit, but you can put aside money to get ready to move out. You can transfer $ out of the joint account into an online acct or paypal. If he isn’t good with money he probably won’t notice.
Act like nothing is wrong and start putting aside money. You can also go ahead and give your landlord notice and ask them to keep it on the down low (no pun intended) If you have your own salary and have been paying the bills getting a storage unit and a weekly rental should be easy. (Much easier than if you were a stay at home mom with no income) You can already have important things packed up in storage (things he won’t notice) and then when you are ready you come back with police and clear out. Make SURE you get all your finances in order and get your personal papers out of the house.
Start documenting everything too cause he may try to use anything and everything against you.
When I kicked my first husband out he actually broke back into the house while I was at work and took my entire file cabinet with all my papers, title to my car etc…I had the key, so he pried it open. I had to get the police involved. This could get ugly, so be ready. Plan everything ahead. Keep all evidence where he can’t find it.After you give your landlord notice and you are leaving if he doesn’t leave the landlord can deal with him. They can evict him. Future potential landlords will concentrate on evictions on your credit. It is doubtful they will try to put anything on your credit. If they threaten to make you pay for the remainder of the lease you can make payment agreement with them to pay whatever off. They usually won’t sweat it if the place is re rented quickly. Let them know the situation and they should be willing to work with you.
As far as your kid goes as long as you are close you can keep him in the same school until you find a permenant place to live. I would not advise involving the school until you have everything sorted out. That could be used against you.
If you really want to do this it is very possible and with careful planning you should be able to do it without causing your child too much stress.
If you decide to stay that is your business, but this situation will go downhill fast. I SERIOUSLY doubt he has stopped the drugs and his wreckless behavior…well you have NO IDEA what he is really doing once he walks out the door. I wouldn’t believe him if he told me the sky was blue…You can get a webcam linked to an app on your phone to secure your place. Arlo is about 100, I’m sure there are cheaper ones out there
SEE A LAWYER!
No one on this site can tell you exactly how to extricate yourself from your particular situation, but a lawyer can. And what is this —
“He knows that I didn’t see anything…”WTF? Your title for this post is “husband on Grindr,” so of course you saw it. And as everyone has said over and over and over, you can get those pictures back if you take the simple action of going to the effing Genius Bar at Best Buy or the Apple store.
Get your head in the game, gurl.
