Hazel

Hi and just wanted to repeat that you not dating during the pandemic shows great good sense and not any kind of failure. Glad you were able to enjoy some of the light shows and parades from the safety of your car. It just occurred to me, that you really do seem to have a love for these shows, do you think when the pandemic slowly draws to a close and these events begin again, it might be worthwhile looking into volunteering (I’m sure they need stewards and so forth,( or there may be a design committee seeking feedback from audiences) – could even be paid work,) so you can meet up with other people who share this enthusiasm? Not saying you’ll find a match there, but every person you meet knows a whole lot of other people, some of whom may be single and looking.

This sounds very unsatisfactory, I reckon it wouldn’t hurt to go to couple’s counselling if you think it could be saved. Are you very young? I’d say time to see if you have something worth saving and it may be that outside help might make it clearer.Mismatched sexual needs can be overcome if that’s the only thing and there is no shame in owning what you want/don’t want, but you definitely need to find a way to communicate better.

If you are happy to look at dating a single mother as you have said, then there is no dilemma. You don’t need to go looking for a much younger woman, and you don’t need to miss out on being a father, just work hard at finding the right woman your own age who happens to already have kids, and earn the right to eventually take on a fathering role. Problem sorted.

why not look for a partner your own age who already has children? If it is genuinely being a parent that you want, it shouldn’t matter whether the children are biologically yours or not.Obviously it would take a long time for any prospective partner to decide that you would be suitable for a parental role towards their children but if all goes well wouldn’t that be a reasonable solution? Failing that, look into adoption, there are lots of children in the care system and being single isn’t the barrier towards adoption that it used to be.

Just wanted to ask, it seems like you are having to find/book appointments for your older relatives, what is happening to older people without someone to do that for them? Are they on a list somewhere, will they also be vaccinated? Here everyone just gets their turn according to age/need on the NHS, how does it work in America?

Sounds like you are able to tolerate his flaws and what he gives you outweighs that, and money isn’t everything.It definitely sounds like you don’t want to leave him, so sort out your finances so his habits don’t impact on you. BUT do not not not base your decisions on what you stand to inherit, unless both your families are super super rich. Sometimes, when people come to the end of their lives, they need a LOT of care, the cost for this can be immeasurable, and it can continue for years. You’d want your parents to live out their last years with every thing that would make them more bearable as they may start to become frail, wouldn’t you? And for as long as they can, so they can keep enjoying the best life possible? Then do not count on any inheritance. If you are happy with no long plan, that’s fine and freeing but don’t imagine you definitely will have this to fall back on.And maybe find a couple of close confidants outside of work, as those work friends don’t sound like that’s always the best thing for you for the majority of your social needs.