anonymousse
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I moved across the country with my ex bf, we bought a house together, we broke up. It was a PITA. He paid me an agreed upon amount eventually. I had contributed much less to the down payment and I honestly just wanted to be free of the drama.
We have separate accounts but share a credit card and a checking account. We’re transparent about everything. It all comes out of the same pot, so it just makes sense for us for it to be shared.
Don’t move in with him. And I agree it’s super easy for him to give you a ring and say he’ll marry you, and then make more and more excuses and drag it out for years.
Also, don’t let this happen:
You both will be taking the financial hit to pay your mortgage and his rent or mortgage because—-you’ll be married and could have saved that money. I mean, with your plan, if it doesn’t sell quickly and close etc etc…you could be paying thousands of extra dollars or more…that could go to your wedding, your honeymoon, your savings account #justsaying
It seems crazy to me not to list your place until you’ve moved into his place. But then again, I totally understand not wanting to sell your house without the commitment first. There’s not a guarantee that your house will sell quickly or that it will close quickly after sale. I mean, I’m sure you know the market in your area and such but…I would not want to pay for a mortgage and rent. I would seriously have a conversation with him about this timeline. Right now, it’s an expensive timeline.
He seems to want to propose? Or he does? I think you should bring this up and tell him what you want. And yeah, the logistics of selling your house and all that. I mean, the sooner the better.
We bought rings together and wore them right away, before the wedding.
I guess I’m kind of with @LisforLeslie here. Why the wait, if it’s causing this much anxiety?
Yeah, it sounds like there is a timeline, and a ring. Maybe you should tell him how anxious you’ve been feeling. Why not bump up the timeline a bit? I mean, if you need it sooner, ask.
I also think you should talk about your insecurities with a pro. It helps to have an outside perspective sometimes.
Sit down and talk about it. What’s the timeline? Is he proposing? Most of my married pals had more of a conversation and bought a ring, or had the convo and then proposal came within a short period of time. Do you want to propose?
Maybe if you discuss this calmly, together and agree on a timeline and how it’s all happening, you’ll feel better.
If talking about it = he says he feels pressured, then you should really consider whether your relationship is ready for marriage. You need to be able to talk about the hard stuff, the sensitive stuff without it turning into an argument or “feeling pressured.” Also, do you really want to marry someone who’s maybe not quite ready for that? Why would taking more time be bad?
That’s fucking hilarious. You insult the site, someone points that out and then you insult us more… and we’re escalating?
I appreciate your attempts at trolling.
It reads as it was written— as though he’s one of the few reasons you still lurk on this site. That definitely sounds like there aren’t many reasons you still lurk on this site, since you wrote the word “few” in front of reasons.
Ha ha, too funny! It’s been a year and I still don’t really love driving the van. It feels so top heavy. We rarely need all the room, but twice a month or so we take all the cousins out. The rest of the time, I’m quietly muttering to myself in the driver’s seat how much I miss my old car.
